well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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