Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
