Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
