You just made me feel so damn special
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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