Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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