I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
