Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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