Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just had sex bonerless
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
