see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
