This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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