I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
