Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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