i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
