So drunk its hurt
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
