Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
