When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
