I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
