so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
