I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
