Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
