If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
