Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
