He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
