It's Friday. Sex?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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