Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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