Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
