I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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