I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
