I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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