Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
