i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
