Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
