i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
