I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
