You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
