it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
