Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
