Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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