Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
