I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
