So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
