he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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