it's too hot outside to masturbate.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You are a genius and a whore.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
