I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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