I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
