Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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