people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
