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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  How was it?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Fantastic, but that's not the point.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke

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• (+27): View more from South Africa

  I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  You need a sexual gate keeper

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs

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• (914): View more from New York

  Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?

  (1-504): View more from Louisiana

  That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?

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• (239): View more from Florida

  They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.

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