I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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