Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You made out with two different species that night
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm always down for nudity.
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